List of Transgressions
by suspensegirl
Summary: Inspired by 6x07 promo - She sobbed, clutching the ring around her neck. She would never take it off her neck. Not ever. But something had to be done. Something had to be done with Bart. He'd taken so many things without a thought of remorse. He deserved to die. Chuck deserved to be free of him. CB DARK


A/N: I know things end well for CB, I do. I also know the show would never go to this extreme, especially after how much CB have grown. Neither would do anything this rash. I am also aware however that the 6x07 promo absolutely breaks my heart and I need to get all this hurt out of my system. This will probably be a 2-3 parter, just b/c in my current mood I just can't conclude it with a happy ending quite yet, but I'm sure it will eventually. Hopefully. Heh.

Let me know what you think. =)

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.1—It All Comes Down To This**

If all the moments in her life had led to this devastation, she wished she had never been born. After all the hurt and the scandal and the revenge that had been inflicted on her or that she had inflicted on others, through all of that the beacon of light had been with Chuck it was worth it, with Serena it was worth it. Now that was gone. It had vanished so suddenly she'd hardly been able to comprehend how it was possible.

Nate had betrayed Chuck in the most devastating way, and because of that Chuck would never be able to prove his father guilty. It was all there in black and white. Chuck had told her some details and she'd gotten the rest from Nate. From what she could gather Serena was on the verge of getting back with Dan and that was something she didn't even want to think about. She and Serena had just barely started to dabble in the friendship pool again, and this was so much bigger than that.

It wasn't fair. It was horrible. It made her more angry than anything else before had in her entire life. No deception committed against her was worse than this vile act against Chuck.

Bart wasn't capable of true feeling or compassion. He'd broken the law and was getting away with it. To make matters worse, Nate had led him to that safety net. She couldn't have been more furious with her ex if she tried. Something told her he'd been manipulated somehow though, which didn't soften the blow any, but it did tell her that he wasn't the origin of the catastrophic disaster.

It was Bart.

Bart was the devil, if she ever saw one. Before he faked his death he seemed to be just not a very good father, not paying attention to the needs of his son. Now he was inflicting pain on Chuck with the sole goal to torture him and make sure he didn't succeed, while pushing Lily around his little chess board to turn her against him even more.

It was despicable.

And now Chuck was so broken, so infuriated, so completely at a loss as what to do with himself, with his life, that he'd only been sure of one thing. He wouldn't be with her. Not now, not ever.

While it was true that the two of them individually had been working to achieve common goals to satisfy their own need for an accomplished identity, their destination was the same. Their reward, so to speak, was that they would finally be together. They would be engaged and then married and then have children. They would have a whole life of happiness and joy that they had never experienced from the start in their own lives. And the best part would be that there would be no more obstacles between them. They would be together forever, nothing driving them apart ever again.

They would be all in.

Now that was gone. In a flash it was just…gone.

She couldn't take it. Once inside her room she started bawling. What was there for her now? Pretend she could move on from Chuck and end up marrying someone else? Have a family with someone else? There was no way. No possible way. Her love, her desire, her need to be with Chuck was too overwhelming. She'd tried it once already and had failed. It would be fair to try it with yet another person just so she could move on with her life.

She didn't want to move on. She never would. And while being in a successful career, even as a well-renowned fashion designer or head of her mother's company, it wouldn't be enough. Because love conquered all and that meant that if everything else had to be lost, love would keep you alive.

She knew Chuck didn't want to sever their pact. It probably tore him up inside as much as it did her. But that didn't change the fact that it was gone. And that, quite possibly, it could never be reinstated again.

She sobbed, clutching the ring around her neck. She would never take it off her neck. Not ever. It would have to be removed by force, and not by Chuck. She wouldn't let him take this away from her. This had been her dream, secretly even, since the moment they got together at the end of their senior year. He had no right to take this from her.

But something had to be done. Something had to be done with Bart. All avenues to destroying him appeared to be cut off and destroyed. But, as horrifying as the thought was, her anger and desperation and devastation thought it. It lingered on it. It expanded and planned out the different avenues that she would take if she actually went through with this sinister thought. It broke all rules, knew no bounds and violated any moral she'd ever had or even existed.

Kill Bart Bass. Murder Bart Bass. Take his life. He'd taken so many things without a thought of remorse. He deserved to die. Chuck deserved to be free of him.

The thought should have left her mind as quickly as it came. She should have been horrified by the thought that she'd even come up with it. Killing Bart wouldn't solve anything. He would be dead and so no longer tormenting Chuck, but he still would not be proved guilty of his crimes. Justice would not prevail. Besides that, Chuck would be a prime suspect for the murder of his father. He was a prime candidate if there ever was one.

But so was she. And if she confessed to the crime instead of trying to cover her tracks, then Chuck would be safe from all scrutiny.

She hoped at least.

How would she do it? she wondered, ignoring what should have been her conscience kicking in. Would she stab him? Poison him? Have another "accidental" car accident? Would she pull a gun on him somehow? Push him off a building? Would she try to strangle him? With her small form strangling probably wouldn't be appropriate, or possibly for that matter, but she could try it.

For a second the thought occurred to her that everyone would be devastated, Serena, her mother, Nate maybe, and certainly Chuck. He still loved her, even if he'd decided they could never be together. He would be horrified of what she'd done and that she would most likely either go on death row or suffer the rest of her life in prison. She'd never survive prison. There would be no possible way. If she thought Brooklyn wasn't safe, prison would kill her. She wouldn't make it to the end of either sentence. She'd kill herself first.

She wondered then when her life had turned into a Shakespearian tragedy.

She didn't have to do this, she reminded herself. She could just go to bed, try to get a good night's sleep and devise some plan tomorrow for saving Chuck and somehow still accomplish everything he'd been working for. Now that they weren't going to be together, there were no ties to keeping them physically apart. She could seduce him and sooner or later hope that the beacon of hope would reignite and as quickly as he had broken off the pact, he would bring it back, or better yet, propose on the spot.

That beacon of light glowed dimly in the back of her mind though. It was nothing compared to the raging fire of what would be murder by _her_ hands.

She shuddered, thinking of what it would be like to kill a man, to kill Bart Bass. Would she really be able to do it? Despite what he had done, he was still a human being, and the fact that she had killed him, that it had been premeditated. It would haunt her for the rest of her life, however long that lasted.

Again, she reminded herself that this could just be all the anger talking. She could confess these feelings to someone – anyone in the morning, even Chuck, and she could just take some time away from the situation, maybe away from New York. She could force herself into a situation where she had to relax. Hell, she could even go to therapy. That was what they were there for, right? To heal the brokenhearted and those bordering on violence?

It was that moment. That one where you decided to go forward with committing the act, or taking a step back and doing what was supposed to be the right thing.

Her mind was clouded now with the desire, the need, to kill him. It was suddenly the answer to all her problems, and Chuck's.

Now all she had to do was form her plan and set it into motion.

…

A/N: HAHAHAHA! *clears throat* Sorry. I just realized there's no possible way I can condense this into 3 chapters. XD I am gonna try to not have it go on forever AND to update as much as I do w/ IA, just cause I feel so passionately about it. But yes…2-3 parter this will not be. XD Also, if you read "Waking Nightmare" – my angstiest multi-chap EVER – this is kind of in the same vibe; meaning this will be pretty angsty throughout and the ending/epilogue will prob be more towards bittersweet than happy. Just warning you ahead of time.

Please review. Let me know what you think. =)


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